Does Audrey like metal?
The answer is, sort of. But usually, not really. If you really dug into my heavier taste, you’d probably define it as the gentler side of post-hardcore. I like it when former headbanger bands mellow out, grow into their thirties, and have kids – and so does their music. (Because if we’re honest with each other, true post-hardcore can get a bit pedantic and can fuel toxic masculinity.) I prefer my post-hardcore bands with dad bods and undercuts. More seasoned, if you will.
Thrice formed in 1998 as your run-of-the-mill emo, post-hardcore rock group. If you swam in those circles during your younger and more vulnerable years, you might remember “Image of the Invisible” as one of your many anthems that your mom just didn’t understand. But as their fans grew up, so to did Thrice, and cast off the disturbed-youth persona to adapt to their fanbase of still-slightly-disillusioned millennials. And that’s that Thrice that Audrey likes, as a still-slightly-disillusioned millennial herself.
Frontman Dustin Kensrue is also a Christian (he was actually the worship leader at Mars Hill until he left due to arising controversy from lead pastor Mark Driscoll.) Many of Thrice’s songs is infused with spiritual meaning. Take this verse from “Listen Through Me:”
He laid aside his crown
All our crimes he carried
Was lifted from the ground
And with our burdens buried
When shadows all had clung
And the light diminished
He emptied out his lungs
Crying, “It is finished!”
The song is pretty obviously about John the Baptist and his mission work after Christ returned to Heaven. That’s one of many songs with deeply spiritual things (take a minute to browse through Alchemy Index, a four-volume set that focuses on the four elements and what they can reveal to us about our humanity. Some of them are sonnets. Excuse me while I geek out.)
Audrey went through a weird phase where she half-dated a metalhead (pretty sure I’ve mentioned this before.) It was awful, but Audrey got a more well-rounded taste in music as a result (and also found out what truly awful music sounds like.) And she also used that experience to teach herself what love isn’t. Ironically, the man I used to love showed me a song that talked about what love is. This song:
Day Twenty-Seven: Anthology – Thrice
Real love is beautiful and raw, but it’s also difficult. You can’t lie if you’re in that kind of love. You can’t be only half yourself. You have to be all in, and you have to be willing to give it time to grow and deepen. You gotta commit.
“Anthology” is from Thrice’s 2011 album “Major/Minor,” which was their last album before going on hiatus (but they’re back YES.) In case you were wondering, it’s named “Anthology” for a reason, an it’s aptly named. Kensrue admits that this song alone references six of the band’s previous songs. I didn’t even know that until I did my research for today. To me, that’s mind-boggling and also pretty smug. Like, imagine referencing your own work in other work. I love it.
I’ll let you research those six references on your own time. That’s not my focus today. What was the reasoning for Kensrue to create this anthology? To talk about his wife, of course.
All six of the songs Kensrue references are songs that relate to his relationship with his wife. Imagine having at least six songs written about you. Wow. #Goals.
Our lives built of tin cans and string
But the cornerstone laid is a wond’rous and a beautiful thing
Sure in the ground
While the north wind is taking its toll
You helped me to find my way back and to anchor my soul
Safe in the sound
It’s truly magical – and rare – to find someone who is your rock. True acceptance is what everyone looks for when they’re in love. That’s why there’s so much heartbreak. I honestly think that true love is rare.
My parents are my role models for a real-love relationship. My mom waited a long time for my dad. They were set up on a blind date in their thirties, and the rest is history. They’re truly yin and yang. They’re not afraid to disagree, but they’re not afraid to make up either. They’ve seen a lot of difficulty in their lives, but they’ve come out on top and still are two of my most favorite people.
Oh you know me
Oh and I know you
And I know that we can see this through
These words could replace wedding vows. It synthesizes everything those vows represent – to know someone is to deeply love someone. It’s used that way in the Bible – a deep love between two people that no one else can know. Some people aren’t patient enough to wait for that God-ordained love. (Speaking of songs I want to dance to at my wedding.)
I bragged of baring my bones
Said if we heard the howling I’d run out to face it alone
To meet it halfway
But I’ve still got badges to earn
So keep sifting my soul
Cuz I think that I’m starting to learn
To love you that way
I’ve found someone who loves me “that way.” We face things together. It’s not always cute love letters and candy. He saw me through an intense anxiety attack a few weeks ago. We’re still at the beginning, and we have a lot to build if we want to continue, but we’ve laid a good foundation.
And it’s true that you can snap my neck
But I trust you’ll save my life instead
This bridge always tickles me, but it speaks a lot to vulnerability. To be truly and deeply loved, we have to be exposed. The allusion of a neck is something that’s vulnerable – that holds our lifeblood. Animals expose their neck when they are trying to be submissive. Lovers kiss each other on the neck because they know they’re safe with the other person. The neck is a symbol of exposure, vulnerability, and livelihood.
‘Cause our love is a loyalty sworn
If we hold our hope then I know we can weather this storm
Whatever they say
Come what may
Correction: this could act as a replacement for vows. This song is beautifully written, and maybe that’s because it’s an anthology. But I think it’s the perfect summation of pure, raw love. Love isn’t all fun and daisies. It’s income taxes and parenthood and stomach flu and stupid fights and mortgages. It’s all the real stuff alongside all the giggly stuff – not one or the other.
Look at the love that you give. Is it that kind of love? Or are you hiding something? Your love should be an anthology – an amalgamation of everything that person is to you. All the good, and all the bad.
But all the beautiful.
Audrey D. DeBoer 