Not that long ago, a friend of mine asked how I had my life together so well. I was flabbergasted. I looked at them like, seriously? I was not the person who had their life together. I haven’t had my life together since 2006.
You can chalk it up to perception. On the outside, I might look like I have it together. Bills paid, good job, semi-independent. But people don’t always know what goes on behind all that. The stress of paying bills on time, of getting to work on time, maintaining friendships, relationships, trying to remember what you need to buy at the grocery store. It’s not glamorous at all.
But we like to make it look glamorous. Effortless, even.
I used to have a friend who seemed to live a charmed life. But I didn’t know her well enough to be the judge of that. She was always announcing exciting things on Facebook, sharing gorgeous photoshoots on Instagram, and seemed to have five times more influence at our university than I did. You bet your biscuits I got extremely jealous. Like bitterly jealous. Her life seemed so good. Everyone wanted to be her friend. Everyone wanted to hear what she had to say.
But I didn’t know everything. After a particularly stunning photoshoot, I replied to her Instagram story. “You have such a cool life,” I said, with the cry emoji. She replied something back. I don’t exactly remember what it was, but it was something along the lines of “you can’t see the whole picture.” Even after that, I was jealous. I still kinda am.
I could argue, however, that people might look at my life and see that too. And when they tell me I have my life together, I’m flabbergasted, because it’s simply not true. No one’s ever is.
It’s always better in pictures.
Day Twenty-Eight: Polaroid – Imagine Dragons
Dan Reynolds looks like he has it together (I mean, have you SEEN him?) He’s got a great band that’s been in the mainstream for the last six years or so, and they fill arenas on every tour. But even though he’s a pretty well known pop star, he has his own struggles. He’s lived most of his life with an autoimmune disease that can cause some pretty serious pain. The shows he puts on every night are just that – a show.
From their sophomore album “Smoke + Mirrors,” “Polaroid” is a jaunty tune that sings absent-mindedly about our hero’s shortcomings. The instrumentation is almost puerile, with hand-clapping and a toy piano. The playful tune, however, doesn’t subtract what Reynolds is singing about. We all have those days when we feel less than.
I’m a reckless mistake
I’m a cold night’s intake
I’m a one night too long
I’m a come on too strong
Reynolds is labeling himself with not-too-flattering descriptors. It seems he either feels too much or too little. It’s pretty relatable. On those days when we feel like we don’t measure up, we can sing along to this verse.
All my life I’ve been livin’ in the fast lane
Can’t slow down, I’m a rollin’ freight trane
One more time, gotta start all over
Can’t slow down, I’m a lone red rover
How much do you think I update my Instagram account with the hope that I look cool to the outside world? I’ll give you a hint: it’s a lot. Sometimes I’m hoping to attract certain people, sometimes I just do it for the likes, man. It’s not always a selfless pursuit (okay, it never is.) We want to “start over,” to rebrand so that we look cool or perfect or effortless. But it never is.
Oh, how did it come to this?
Oh, love is a polaroid
Better in pictures
Never can fill the void
Before I’d ever dated anyone, I honestly thought that being with someone would make everything instantly perfect. That obviously is not the case, but it’s the whole “outside looking in” thing. Couples always look like they’re having fun and everything’s fine. But that’s because you see the good stuff. Once I finally got a boyfriend, I realized that there’s a lot of bad stuff too. A relationship is never perfect. And it’s always work. It’s rarely effortless. I’ll admit, being in a relationship makes a lot of things better – life is fun when you’re compatible and communicate well, but that doesn’t mean it’s perfect. It’s rarely picture perfect.
Reynolds uses the unique image of a Polaroid – not just any sort of photograph, but that specifically. A Polaroid takes time to develop and starts out dark and undiscernible – a void, if you will.
I’m a hold-my-cards-close
I’m a wreck-what-I-love-most
I’m a first-class-letdown
I’m a shut-up-sit-down
“Polaroid” is simply a happy little ditty about being a screw-up. It’s a typical millennial mindset – “I suck! Everything sucks! But at least I’m alive! Yay!”
I am a head-case
I am the color of boom
That’s never arriving
And you are the opera
Always on time and in tune
And I am the color of boom
What even is “color of boom?” I don’t frickin’ know. I mean, this song has been childish so far, so why not continue that narrative? It’s an immature look at falling behind. Meanwhile, you’re looking at someone who is put together – kind of like an opera – while you’re just a childish, immature freak.
I’m gonna get ready
For the rain to fall heavy
Let it fall, fall
Let it fall upon my head
But guess what? The rain falls on the just and the unjust. And everyone’s life sucks sometimes. Better to be a childish, immature freak than boring. Love isn’t always a pretty picture, but it can be good. So dance in the rain like a fool. Enjoy the crazy journey.
And even if you think the next person has it all together, look again.
Audrey D. DeBoer 