Why Are Iconic Bosses So Mean?

He paraded around like a petulant child. Objects – expensive objects – were thrown across the room in fits of tantrum-like rage. He’d whine when he didn’t get his way. He even went so far as to drop his laptop on the ground and shatter it. When this grown adult boss realized he had broken his assistant’s computer by accident, his response was, “Well, go get my computer.”

This is a scene in the 2018 Netflix rom-com Set It Up, in which two assistants attempt to set up their, well, bossy bosses so they can get a moment’s peace. And I get it. Ambitious Harper, who is the assistant for Kirsten, a top-notch, no-nonsense ESPN reporter, works long hours and is at her boss’ beck and call 24/7. It’s the same for Charlie, whose boss is Rick, a slightly douchey exec who has an appetite for high-end takeout and a laissez-faire approach to his son’s upbringing (if you consider making his assistant complete the kid’s science project hands-off.) Both bosses are single workaholics who are basically just straight-up nasty…in all aspects of life. (You should hear Rick talk about his ex-wife.) A match made in heaven, right?

This seems to be a common narrative in pop culture – bosses are always mean, unrelenting, and have no personal connection with their employees. They simply lord over their cubicle farms with a firm hand. Take a look at The Devil Wears Prada, aptly named Horrible Bosses, and even to an extent, Mad Men (also Don Draper does make very personal connections with his, ahem, female coworkers.) It seems as though you have to have a heart of steel to “make it.”

Or do you?

Statistics might be on Hollywood’s side. According to a 2018 article from Forbes, 58% of people would trust a stranger sooner than they’d trust their boss (from Harvard Business Journal.) Also, many people cite lack of appreciation as their reason for leaving a job (79%, according to studies.) Maybe it’s cathartic for American employees to watch Meryl Streep be petulant and picky, bossing Anne Hathaway around like she’s not gonna be Catwoman someday. Because catharsis is universal, right? Watching someone else deal with it makes it easier to deal with.

But if we’re going to be real, not a lot of bosses are like that. At least, not here in the lukewarm Midwest. Maybe it’s different for y’all city folk. I can imagine that when you’re a top-tier NYC exec, you might be under a little more pressure than your typical white collar boss. And yet, we are fixated on “bad bosses.” Well maybe not bad bosses, but bosses with a capital B.

Take Rick from Set It Up for example. He’s ridiculously wealthy and ridiculously good looking, but, let’s be honest – a completely spoiled brat. We’re meant to think that he’s met his match in Kirsten, who could be considered an entirely different b-word altogether. Like, who else would be able to tolerate them except each other?

Spoiler alert: It doesn’t work out between the two of them, for…well, reasons that we won’t go into. But by the end of the movie, they’ve gained what could only be considered a little bit of humanity. And of course it took their assistants to teach them how to be good human beings, or at least slightly better than who they were before. And maybe that’s what we want most of all. We want to ask our bosses, don’t you remember what it was like to be on the bottom?

And let’s be honest, there’s an innate (and selfish) human desire to see people be awful, because it reminds us that hey, we’re not that awful after all. Maybe you’re a boss, and you watch a movie like that and think, “Well dang, at least I’m not Miranda Priestly.”

I’m not a scientist and I haven’t studied this in depth, but I don’t think most bosses fall in the category of Miranda Priestly. Although it is true that you have to have thick-ish skin and be able to make tough decisions in order to “make it,” Hollywood takes that to the umpteenth degree. You literally have to be heartless, cruel, and downright mean in order to make tons of money and have that corner office.

But we all know that Hollywood doesn’t tend to tell the whole truth all the time. After all, an overbearing-boss-versus-hapless-assistant makes for an interesting story, kind of a David-and-Goliath situation. It’s especially satisfying when the assistant teaches his boss a thing or two, or even (gasp) surpasses his boss.

But, for the sake of good bosses everywhere, it may be best to take that with a grain of salt.