Day Twelve: Josh McBride – The Head and the Heart

Sometimes, all you need is a sweet love song. Even if it makes you hurt a little bit.

One of the main points of this blog series for me has been that songs bring back moments, so much so that you associate a song with a time, person, or place. Some songs bring you back to a happy time, others to a sad.

I’m a sucker for a good love song. The sappier, the better. They’ve gotten me through the good times and the bad. Let’s talk about high school crushes. Raise your hand if you had a high school crush. Who didn’t? You’re really lucky if you married your crush (or maybe not? I’m kinda glad I didn’t) but you’re also one of the rarities in this world. More often than not, our first love comes to us in our teens. (Or, more fittingly, our first infatuation.)

High school Audrey fell hard for a boy when she was a sophomore. She was finally emerging out of her ugly-duckling phase of fourteen and fifteen and blossoming into a somewhat homely sixteen-year-old. And she only had eyes on one boy. I still remember the first time I had an actual conversation with him, and I remember staring at myself in the girls’ bathroom mirror thinking “oh my gosh. That actually happened.” 

Oh girl. It was just beginning.

Day Twelve:  Josh McBride – The Head and the Heart

Like any good high schooler, I attached every love song I heard to my crush. I lived in a haze of infatuation all through my sophomore year. I pined, I prayed, I hoped that maybe he’d be mine. I remember my disappointment when I went to homecoming and didn’t see him there – we could have our magical movie moment on the dance floor! (I was very much the hopeless romantic at that age. Oh wait. I still am.) I finally told him how I felt, and he didn’t feel the same way.

You can imagine how my 16-year-old heart felt. My first rejection. While I turned to music while I was “in love,” I turned to music when I was heartbroken too.

And thankfully, The Head and the Heart came out with a new album at just about the same time.

Let’s Be Still is undoubtedly my favorite THATH album, and Josh McBride is undoubtedly my favorite song. THATH was one of the first folk bands I listened to and got hooked on. When I was a junior, I saw them at Calvin College – by myself. That was my level of dedication. (Full disclosure: going to concerts alone is actually not that bad. I thoroughly enjoyed it.)

Josh McBride described to me how I felt about that boy. It was sort of an idealization of what I wanted us to be.

Came to the cold just to see you
Standing there in expectation
Woollen coat and blue eyes staring
Oh this vision does me good

This song is burgeoning with hope. Josh McBride is a real person. One of the members of THATH wrote this endearing song to describe the first few months of a romantic relationship – all of the hope, excitement, and joy that it can bring. The honeymoon phase, if you will. Trouble might be coming down the road, but right now, everything is good and beautiful.

In the city we don’t know yet
Across the bridges not yet burned
Where the ice won’t let us further
Wind our way down through the woods

The plucked guitar strings and homey vocals make the listener feel warm in the midst of a wintry song. I always imagine a somewhat bleak and snowless December day when I listen to this song. But in the middle of it, I see a happy couple, snuggling up to stay warm.

You are in the seat beside me
You are in my dreams at night
You are in grandmother’s wisdom
You are in grandfather’s charm

There’s something so beautiful and innocent about wishing someone was with you when they’re not. In my mind, the chorus is the vocalist imagining their significant other always with them – and always in their dreams. I would dream about my high school crush a lot (I mean, I saw him at school every single day.) I’d imagine what it would be like to be with him, to ride in a car with him, to walk next to him. I spent a lot of high school wondering if it could ever happen, and I led myself into a lot of heartbreak and disappointment by doing so.

Although parts of that experience were painful, I look back on that time of my life pretty fondly. Wide-eyed Audrey had never had a boyfriend, never been kissed, and never been on a date – and she was hopelessly optimistic about the possibility. That sweet innocence is endearing to me now. And it points me back to when I first started turning to songs to help me explain how I was feeling.

Josh McBride is about the beginning of a new love. The beginning is always euphoric.

Darling, this is when I met you
For the third time, not the last
Not the last time we are learning
Who we are and all we were

Even in failed relationships, you can remember the good times. The times of sweetness that made you love the other person. It’s unfortunate when the doubts settle in, and it’s a reality, but it’s also important to focus on the now. That’s what I’ve learned in my limited experience of relationships. Don’t worry about what would happen if they moved away, if they dumped you, if they turned out to be someone totally different than you thought. Focus on the now.

That’s the beauty of Josh McBride. This couple savors one another’s presence. It’s equal parts melancholy and uplifting. And if you blink, you’ll miss those moments, and the romance will die before it’s even born.

I encourage you to love your significant other with a sweet, innocent love. Dream about them, love them today, and enjoy your time with them. Even if the moment is short.

You won’t regret it, even if it hurts.

a. w.