So guess what? I forgot to write yesterday. My new weird routine has been messing me up. I can’t promise it won’t happen again. In the meantime, you get a twofer today.
Who doesn’t love running away from their problems? I know I do! I am the queen of conflict avoidance. It’s weird that after so much evidence to the contrary, we all just really wish problems would go away without us facing them. I think it’s because of our resistance to change. We don’t want addressing the conflict to upset our lives, so we go about our day with a stiff upper lip.
But as we all know, that’s not the best way to do things. It’s better to face conflicts and challenges head-on, because ultimately it will make our lives better. Especially if you have some prog-rock to help you get there.
Day 3: I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead – The Wedding
I have a lot of memories tied to this song by former Christian prog rock band The Wedding. My brother went through a grunge phase in high school, and as his little sister, I was privy to his music choices. In the early days of Rue 21 and Guitar Hero, his mainstays were Skillet, Red, John Reuben and The Wedding. “I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead” was one of my favorites that he would play. Who can resist a bagpipe solo intro?
Now I listen to it when I’m a) feeling nostalgic or b) running. It was only recently that I started paying attention to the lyrics instead of just pumping my fist along to the rhythm. It absolutely bleeds mid 2000s Christian punk rock, and I’m unapologetically into that. The lyrics are no exception.
Well if we go, we go the distance
We go all out
And if you force us to fight we go for the knockout
We haven’t always been the same men
We are today
It took fire to purify us
What didn’t burn is what remained
Ah yes, the middle school youth group kids they are singing to will definitely resonate with this. What middle school punk rock kid doesn’t like the idea of a one-two punch?
What I appreciate most is the chorus, which, admittedly, is hard to make out because it is half-yelled (like the whole song. It’s very on-brand.)
If we run then we run
But we won’t be the same
Leaving excuses for the weak
If we run then we run, but we won’t be the same
And we’ll only have ourselves to blame
When I actually listen to the chorus, I realize this applies to me. I don’t usually find myself in fight or flight situations, but I do find myself in times of conflict. And being a passive person, I could just say, “Welp. I’m gonna run from this.” But as the lead singer points out, you still won’t escape unscathed. It’s going to come at a cost.
Even though this song is slightly dated and was written for a very specific audience back in the day, it’s still good fun and brings up a good point. What will you do when conflict calls?
Day 4: Afire Love – Ed Sheeran
All of my grandparents passed away before I turned 21. That’s just the way it is. I have other older adults in my life who act like “grandparents.” Both of my grandfathers lost their wives at least ten years before they both passed (they passed within a year of each other.) I don’t know much about their love stories, but I wish I did.
It’s hard to remember sometimes that our grandparents have had lives like ours. They were young once, and they didn’t know then what they know now. Sure, they lived in a different decade, but their emotions were just the same. They experienced love and joy and heartbreak. They hung out with their friends and went on dates. They had their favorite books and movies they couldn’t stop talking about. They rebelled against their parents or the status quo. Sometimes we don’t realize that until after they’re gone.
You can tell by the tone and quality of “Afire Love” that Ed Sheeran was close to his grandfather, but at the time of his death, it seems like he’s learning much more about him. We’re getting an in depth look at who this man was as a husband, father and grandfather. We’re learning about his legacy, but what’s sad is his grandfather’s memory is slipping.
Things were all good yesterday
And then the devil took your memory
And if you fell to your death today
I hope that heaven is your resting place
I heard the doctors put your chest in pain
But then that could’ve been the medicine
And now you’re lying in the bed again
Either way I’ll cry with the rest of them
This is a familiar scene for a lot of people – having to watch a loved one slip away. I lost my grandmother to Alzheimer’s when I was 9, and it was hard to watch her slowly forget everything and disassociate from the world. Ed Sheeran wrote this song about the death of his grandfather, and how, like a lot of us, he wished he’d known him better.
And my father told me “son
It’s not his fault he doesn’t know your face
And you’re not the only one”
Although my grandma used to say that he used to sing:
‘Darling, hold me in your arms the way you did last night
And we’ll lie inside for a little while here, oh
I could look into your eyes until the sun comes up
And we’re wrapped in light and life and love
Put your open lips on mine and slowly let them shut
For they’re designed to be together, oh
With your body next to mine, our hearts will beat as one
And we’re set alight, we’re afire love’
Oh love
This is not always a perspective we get on our grandparents – young and in love and devoted to each other. They may now just seem like the stereotypical “old married couple” where the passion is all gone. But their love created generations that will continue their legacy.
If you still have your grandparents, ask them what it was like for them when they were young. You may be surprised just how similar you are to them.
Audrey D. DeBoer 